What in the WORLD?????

I'm pretty sure I've used this title before, but sometimes it's the only appropriate thing to say.

Even as I type this, I'm not entirely sure I will even publish this post. I just need to vent and maybe it's best for me to keep the venting to myself on this one. Not sure yet.

So, yesterday we were at church and I was enjoying worship and looking forward to our pastor's sermon because he's doing a series called, "America's got issues: 5 hot topics facing American Christians today" or something like that. And I am totally digging his series. So, I'm getting ready for the pastor, wondering what this week's topic is going to be, when I get two new pew neighbors. Our church is big and I bet I don't know 5% of the regular attenders. So, I don't know if my neighbors are regulars or not.

The reason my new neighbors distracted me so was because the son, who was probably about 11 or 12 years old, probably my same height and weighed MAYBE 75 pounds soaking wet, was wearing a cap in the sanctuary (I am old school and if that bothers you, you should totally stop reading this now, 'cause I just got started) and the kicker: he was wearing a large rubber bracelet and it dang sure wasn't WWJD, people. Noooo, it said, "I [heart] boobies!" That was all I could make out but I spent the entire rest of the service trying to read what was in parentheses next to his declaration of love.

Can I just be perfectly frank and say that I was beyond put out? Beyond. I was having creative ideas of what I wanted to do with his cap and his bracelet when I was either convicted or just reminded of the saying that church is for sick people, not for those who are already well. Fine. I get that.

So, at this point in the service I am vascillating between praying for the sick kid next to me and dealing with the reality that this: Boobie bracelet and cap in the sanctuary, might have the nerve to call (but most likely text) one of my daughters in 5 or 6 years (maybe sooner). This reality made me want to take him, right there in church. I can hope that Mark and my reputation for being crazy, gun owning parents will fend off such hopeful suitors, but that would be naive. What I consider bold: 12 year old wearing offensive bracelet and a cap in church - is NORMAL for this child and I know this because he was sitting by his mama. This is the kind of crap that makes me seem like a radical to the world I live in. To be fair, I should point out he did take the cap off about half way through the service. He used the cap to hide the twizzlers he was snacking on. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. Twizzlers, he hides. Offensive bracelet, not so much.

Now look, not every 12 year old comes to church looking like this. Most know better, but it's not because many don't have a bracelet of their own. It's because they clean it up before they come to church. And I have not an ounce more respect for that than I do for wearing it to church. And then, there are those who don't own a bracelet, and they're just doing their thing, daring to be different in a totally wacked out world. And Jesus loves all of them: the ones who clean up their act before church, the ones who don't, and the ones daring to be different. It's important to remember that.

Sadly, this boy is just doing what has been modeled for him somewhere in his life. By a dad, or older brother, or someone who is teaching him how to be a man. And that doesn't even scratch the surface. How about what MTV tells him about being a man, what "reality" t.v. tells him, and what any number of disgusting websites would tell him about being a man?

Later I had to figure out what the deal was with his bracelet. I figured it was probably some shout out to breast cancer awareness. And I was right. How lovely. The "Keep a Breast" (KAB for short) organization out of California (where else?!) cares SO MUCH about breast health, they started making these neato rubber bracelets encouraging women to "keep a breast." And hey, here's my first thought: how about going for the gold and keeping both of them?! Give me a break! Breast cancer is no joke, ask the two women in my Sunday School class fighting it right now. One of the women I am referring to is not doing well at all right now, but ironically I did see her husband and two sons at church yesterday. Do I point out her 12 year old son most likely cares a heck of a lot about breast cancer, but wasn't wearing a bracelet?

Are you going to try to tell me that a 12 year old boy who bought a rubber bracelet cares that much about breast cancer? Does he know that half of the organizations that are supposed to receive proceeds from the bracelets have not seen a dime? Doubt it. If he saw a rubber bracelet that said, "I [heart] colons," would he buy it? 'Cause colon cancer is tough stuff too. And God help the next teenager I see wearing one if they are smoking, because you know I'm going to ask them if they heart their stinking lungs. Mark my words, I will do it. If you happen to be with me when it happens, you have my blessing on walking away like you don't know me.

Whatever. This is the world we live in. I won't delve into the intentions of the Keep a Breast foundation, but I will say that most articles I read about the foundation and the controversial bracelets acknowledge that most women (and especially breast cancer survivors) find the bracelets offensive, and feel that it marginalizes a very real, very painful issue.

And, all this is why even now, I have to pray for my girls, and pray for the boys that might come in and out of our lives, and ultimately for their husbands. I pray for their parents and I pray for protection in this sick, twisted world. And yes, I pray for my pew neighbor. And for his mama. Grace is not always easy, but it is always right.