Doctors and Specialists

No. I am not pregnant. But, this time last year I was. 14 weeks and 1 day (+/-4 days) to be exact.

Tomorrow starts Memorial Day Weekend...which is so ironic to me, since Memorial Day is a day to remember. It's funny how days and times and places take us back. As I write this, my heart is pounding.

As this day has gotten closer and closer, I keep remembering different things that we were going through at this time last year. I was early in my third pregnancy, but past those critical first 12 weeks which is when you typically let out a big sigh of relief and just coast for the rest of the pregnancy. Except I was holding my breath.

Between weeks 12 and 13 I started to realize something may be wrong. I took it easy, saw the doctor and she seemed to think it was just the location of the placenta and that if I would continue to take it easy, the problem would resolve itself. And it seemed like she was right... until the Thursday before Memorial Day Weekend.

It was a great day. Allison had a sweet program at school and graduated from kindergarten. We were preparing to go out of town the next day for a family reunion I have attended since before I was born. And we decided to celebrate Allison's big day at TGI Friday's for dinner. And at dinner, I have no other way to explain how I felt and what was going on except to say it seemed the bottom was falling out. I could not get home fast enough.

The next day, again, I rushed to the doctor and she took a look. The baby was fine. But, something was going on with my body. The verdict: I was in a high-risk pregnancy and would be referred to a perinatologist. I didn't know how to process that. What followed was a pregnancy that was very closely watched and other close calls all the way until Meagan graced us with her presence 4 weeks early. I can't even count how many times Meagan was "photographed" before her birth.

So the picture above is Meagan on the Friday of Memorial Day Weekend...one year ago. On the way to the doctor I kept thinking of the scripture in Psalm 20:7 where it says, "Some may trust in horses and some trust in chariots, but we will trust in the name of the Lord, our God." I would personalize it like this, "Some may trust in doctors, and some may trust in specialists, but I WILL trust in the name of the Lord, my God." Every close call, every scare, every mad dash to the medical center: "...but I will trust in the name of the Lord my God."

To this day, I cannot pass that TGI Fridays without my stomach turning a flip flop. God tells us over and over to remember Him, to remember the things He has brought us through. I do think we easily forget, otherwise it wouldn't be written all throughout the Old Testament. We (the Old Testament believers and New Testament Christians) are a people of A.D.D.

I wanted to share this, for one, because as I said in my first post, this blog is as close as close to journaling as this gal is going to get. And I do not want to forget what He has brought us through nor how I feel on these days as I look back. But, more than that, it's about Him. It's to shine a spotlight on His grace, His mercy, and His sovereignty. I certainly do not deserve it and will never understand it. But I thank Him for it.

...We will tell the next generation

the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,

his power, and the wonders he has done.

He decreed statutes for Jacob

which he commanded our forefathers

to teach their children,

so the next generation would know them,

EVEN THE CHILDREN YET TO BE BORN,

and they in turn would tell their children. Psalm 78: 4-6

Allison, Emma, and Meagan, this post is for you. You are our "next generation." Our prayer and the passion of your mama and daddy's hearts is this one thing: that you would KNOW Him and that you would live to tell it to our grandbabies. Everything else is just...stuff. Your mama and daddy love you so bad it hurts...but your Jesus - girls, no words on this planet could express the love He has for you. You are all my miracles, and I will not forget.